#(they do) ah
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my dead goth son and his friendly neighborhood personified concept of insanity
#really happy with how michael turned out :] i might stick to this design#rapunzel ah glowy hair <3#i do need to workshop gerry though orz#have been working on this during breaks from my other projects and god it took way too long to finish#fun fact the final file for this is over 2gb 👍 forgot i was recording the timelapse#i could post it if anyone would be interested#the magnus archives#tma#michael distortion#michael shelley#tma michael#tma distortion#gerard keay#gerry keay#tma gerry#gerrymichael#doorkeay#technically? i’m not one to draw ship art usually but this one’s close enough i think#tma fanart#fanart#my art#digital art#illustration#magpod
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no freaking way
#You’re telling me this fat little thing owns property?#Bro’s out here doing better than me ah hell nah 💀💀#kookaburra#my photos#photography
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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The squad of all time has arrived on scene.
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#Cithis Ofri#Pattadol#Fleki#Lycion#Otta#Happy Canary Debut Day! These guys wont really get to be very present until the next season of Dungeon Meshi#But I can still be excited to see them animated!!!#Shout out to Pattadol - I also tend to occupy 'The Punchline' niche of the friendgroup.#The punchline differs from 'The Jester' who willingly absorbs the jokes. The punchline is often unwillingly the joke.#You are either the one no one likes or the well beloved little-sibiling-esque friend. Good luck figuring out which!#Yes it is canon that Otta is into Women. YES she dates younger women and dumps them when they age.#This isn't a fan made bit. It's real.#Dungeon Meshi has no romance but it does have canonically queer characters.#Shipping is fine and all but it is a running theme in the series than *everyone* who expresses romantic interest in someone -#-finds that love unrequited. Just something to be mindful of to measure your expectations of this series!#Ah! In other housekeeping notes; I'm going to *try* and add Alt Text to my dungeon meshi thurday posts going forwards.#I might not be able to do it day of but I will try to get it done within a week.
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hey grandpa you got something on your shoulder
The attention-seeking urge to just dial it up when around a large group of other people
Ofc the host of the party can just do whatever when he's bored (◔_◔)
#ford at first: ah stanley used to do this all the time this shall be a breeze#it was not a in fact a breeze#and stanley definitely did not do all THAT later on#gravity falls#billford#stanford pines#bill cipher#lemonchip bill#they both see the other as the annoying-ass cat#here anyways#my post#my art
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Having fun with Chainsaw Mappa so far
#ramblings of the critter#chainsaw man#chainsaw man anime#critter watch#what do you call this meme template again? ah who cares#csm
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#comic#bloodborne#i loooove frenzy as a status effect from a lore perspective#dude something is so confusing and scary it hurts you#its a step above madness in er imo bc frenzy is a funnier word#madness is like ah yes the knowledge and such made you lose it but frenzy is like oh ur CRAAAAZAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!#next area i have to do is the forbidden woods where theres traps and men with rifles and dogs biting you wish me luck
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Let me show you one of my original concepts :>
Because. Why not haha👍
Characters refs Masterpost
Next
#ah wait how do I even tag non fandom stuff?#uh#marble sky#marble sky comic#or something?#art#comics#what else#aliens#lol#Idk what to put in the tags so#what are your thoughts on this thing?#I tried to post this on other website but it didn’t really gain much audience lol people was just looking and then silently leaving#I wonder if Tumblr is diffent#Tumblr seems to like aliens much more that Twitter haha
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Mia would have some choice words on Phoenix’s taste in men
Bonus:
#ace attorney#phoenix wright#mia fey#miles edgeworth#turnabout beginnings#what I would do to have current edgeworth and channeled mia in a room together#edgeworth: ah miss fey its been a whi- mia: ur dad’s death led to my mom’s ostracization then eventual death.#mia: and also ur prosecution led to my boyfriend being in a coma which then led to phoenix wright dating a psycho#which then led to her sister being sent to a spirit temple which then comes back around to my mom dying.#edgeworth: ah.#guess who just finished turnabout bridge. wild how everything all came together huh
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As much as i love Dungeon Meshi, i do think that given Ryoko Kui's attention to realistic worldbuilding there ought to be a companion series called Dishes Meshi where they spend 2hrs washing and drying and packing away. Alll the goddamnfuck dishes they just made
#EVERY TIME i make something even slightly fancy for dinner im like#HOW ARE YOU WASHING ALL THOSE DISHES IN A DUNGEON ?? DO Y'ALL REALLY ONLY USE 1 BIG PAN?? HOW?#where is Chilchuck being like 'jfc Laios‚ you couldn't have let this bowl soak while we made the gyoza?? now it's all dried on...'#where is Marcille going 'Ok gang. We need to stop somewhere soon to wash each of our 2 outfits. and our 173 dishtowels'#On second thought maybe Marcille just does it all with magic which makes me mad fucking jealous#if this is already covered somewhere in the Adventurer's Handbook or the later manga chapters I'll feel real dumb but Ah Well#dungeon meshi
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final victor...?
#i am feeding into my own hc that ren is also a bit unhinhed and kinda not well in the head cuz why do you like akechi sm...#theyre so sicko4sicko#also im not big into ratiorine but this lc is rlly...smth...i just had to!!#idek if this deserves a caption on its own considering its not that original and is a redraw#but ah well#shuake#akeshu#ren amamiya#goro akechi#persona 5#joker#crow#persona#hsr#i guess#my art#fanart
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in the one (1) month since i watched death note for the first time i sure have been doing a fucking posting
bonus:
#death note#rookposting#lawlight#light yagami#l lawliet#i was like oh.. i should crosspost some of my dn shit to tumblr but idk if ive made enough posts to do a comp.#(searches for one second) ah fuck#shoutout to the lovely people who made appearances in this compilation by helping me#hope yall dont mind#by the way im also a pisces bitch so im allowed to say that about him.
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fumes
#setting: mez#artists on tumblr#mech design#another one from patreon#i was kicking about the idea of a monthly postcard-sized print and this would have been one#but the costs (incl. environmental) of doing it kinda sapped my enthusiasm as well as my doubts that i could#manage to make a new one every month#ah well.
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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It's been a while~🌻
#self-indulgent scribble because I earned it!!! >:D#Ah.... The eternal dca artist struggle: how tf do I draw this oreo-faced robot man in side profile view (affectionate)#fnaf security breach#fnaf sb#dca fandom#fnaf sun#sunnydrop x reader#y/n#my art
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imagine if Cal and Kanan met after the Purge
i like the headcanon that they were bros back in padawan days, messing around and giving a headache to everyone in the temple c::
#honestly the only one Cal could’ve given a headache to is himself#with his psychometry talents#star wars#star wars fanart#cal kestis#kanan jarrus#caleb dume#bd 1#jedi survivor#jedi fallen order#star wars rebels#jedi order#jfo#sw rebels#rebels fanart#rebels au#my art#was in a sketching doodling mood suddenly#ah yes urgent assignments that you don't really want to do can do that to you#artists on tumblr
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